Talking about it makes it worse. Every conversation ends in hostility. The only way past being on the receiving end of the conversation to nowhere is to refocus everything back to the root of the problem and everyone else. At least we can agree on something.
We take our argument to those around us, either those close to us or those with like thinking, and the resentment builds. The saying, “birds of a feather, flock together,” is true. If you look around long enough, you are going to find some birds. A spoken word, an opinion, blurted out amongst one or two others to see how they respond. When you find someone with that same opinion, they become your best friend, and you start talking throughout the week. Though you have all of these new “friends,” you’re not sure what brings more comfort, talking about everything or withdrawing into solitude.
This type of conversation hinders relationships, prayers, daily devotion, mowing the grass, and idle time. I am amazed at how frequently my problem surfaced to the forefront of my mind when I tried to mow the lawn! Prayers change from Kingdom needs to I need, and I want and do something God! Daily devotions are a chore and rarely become more than a check in the box.
There is no end in sight. Something has to change. Days turn into weeks, and weeks quickly turn into months. The monotony is overwhelming and deafening. The Joy is gone. I shed a tear for you that find yourself at this point, though you probably don’t want any consolation from me. I was here, and I know how tough it is. Don’t give up and continue to read through this series. It can and will get better. What do you have to lose in trying?